Hello, dear readers. My apologies for a very long and unexplained absence. I’ve been wallowing in unemployment, unable to overcome the shock of watching my life pass by without participating in it. That is no more. I’ve broken free and next week I embark on the journey to employment!

To signify my sincerity that I am indeed no longer a phantom on this website of mine, I’ve planned a little something. Over the last month I have watched in horror as mouth-breathing radical conservatives spewed anti-healthcare vitriol in town halls across the country. I wanted to do a post about it and make fun, but as President Obama said on wednesday night, these people would be laughable if they were so appalling.

Many of you know my disdain for Glenn Beck. Some of you might know that he has a little project called the 9/12 project wherein he sheds crocodile tears and pleads with America to remember how we felt united on the day after 9/11. He does this, of course, while masturbating to a picture of Reagan, trying to forget Bush’s trampling of civil liberties, and screeching about Obama’s malevolent socialism tightening it’s tentacles around Real America’s™ neck.

Well, the anti-healthcare people and Glenn Beck’s political amnesiac’s are joining forces tomorrow in Washington D.C. for a giant anti-… everything protest. Anti-government, anti-bailout, anti-healthcare, immigration, Obama, liberal, etc. etc. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even think these people know what they’re protesting anymore, they’re just unhappy about their ideology no longer steering America, and having to follow the orders of some non-white President. Case in point: no one can shut up about how Obama isn’t a legitimate President because he’s wasn’t born here.

Nevermind that if his mom was on the fucking moon at the time she ejected him from her womb he would still be a legal U.S. citizen because she is. Nope, let’s conveniently forget that. Nevermind that all of these people shrieking about Obama’s legitimacy turned a blind eye when Bush’s Presidency was granted by a court order and a recount scandal. They were ok with that.

Anyway, I digress. The point is, I’m going to D.C. I’m actually on the bus RIGHT NOW. I brought a video camera, and a few ironic signs. I’m hoping to blend in and become one of the frothing morons this weekend so that I can capture some juicy video clips. I will, of course, upload all of these videos. I hope, of course, to return with some interesting stories to write about.